Bebe comes to England

The Wahindi in Transition: The lives of East African elderly  as seen through the story of Bebe.

 

Tejinder Sindra, the Punjabi writer, wrote and produced ‘Bebe Vilayat Wich’ (not to be confused with ‘witch’) in the mid 1990s and left a permanent mark on Punjabi drama in the UK. I have used Sindra’s work for inspiration and many more interpretations have been added to reflect my own position-naughty, but the comments reflect real situations and how they are perceived and addressed in the real world, a society in the throes of change…

 

‘Bebe’ is the elderly Punjabi woman who is delighted when her son, who lives in London, sends her a ticket and a visa to visit him and his wife and to meet her grandchildren for the first time. She is received with great deal of hugging and ‘feet touching’ at the airport. After a few tears of happiness Bebe is driven home in the son’s 18 year old Mercedes. Bebe is already impressed and comments on the car, which is well maintained and clean. “Yes, it is the same type of car, Bebe ji that is used by prime ministers when they travel” ignoring the minor detail that no British PM would want to be seen, dead or alive, in a German car. Bebe is not too concerned about the age of the car either. It is her son’s progress that counts. “This is a very good country, Bebe. They are so organised here and there is no corruption. Look at the way everyone behaves on the road…the police is watching the traffic…And you know one thing, Bebe ji? The drivers here even obey the police” he told her excitedly on the way home.

 

She wipes away a tear when she thinks how her husband would have been so pleased to see the progress that his boy has made. She thought further about how ‘the work permit problem’ in Kenya had broken his heart. He was such an expert furniture maker but he had to leave Kenya. Now even more sadly, he had been so traumatised after his eldest son had migrated ‘to London’ (they actually lived in Southampton) that he had a massive heart attack and died. Bebe had been very careful not to remind him that it was he, after all, who had encouraged the boy to migrate and build a new life in Vilayat (England) and make a fortune before quickly returning to the Punjab. He had advised his son that they must return to the Punjab before their children turn into ‘Angrezi chor’ the English colonial ‘thieves’ who had robbed India. In fact during the subsequent sightseeing tour to Trafalgar Square, Bebe was alerted to the fact that the entire Square was built with money that the British had externalised from India. And Bebe thinks laterally.. How ‘nice’ the Trafalgar Square would have looked if it had been built in Jullundur, her late husband’s favourite town in the Punjab.

 

The first few days of Bebe’s arrival turn out to be very busy. So many relations wanted to meet her. How lucky was Bebe to have such a wonderful son. The strain was first felt by the daughter-in-law who became quite fed up with the constant flow of relatives and their relatives- Bebe is now owned by the whole community. A big change had been made when the son agreed that no meat, eggs and fish would be cooked at home as long as Bebe was living with them…out of respect for her religious beliefs and also how the smell of cooking meat always gave Bebe a terrible headache and a serious turn of mind.

 

After a fortnight, just as Bebe’s son starts to think about her return to India, his wife says “You must be mad. Just think of the amount of money you had spent on her ticket. It has been of no use to us”. “How could the money be of ‘use’ to us?”, the son wondered. She was quick to remind him of his friend Tiddu, whose old mother was looking after their children and even his wife could work. “How do you think they could afford to buy the dishwasher, ‘the laundry machine’ and gas cooker with twin ovens?” she asked. They had also taken their children to Florida and seen large whales in fish tanks! If the other Bebe could baby sit for them, then his own mother was not that special. It was such a simple but good proposal. The son then told his mother. “Bebe ji, we think we have not had enough time to spend with you here and I have had your visa extended… in fact it cost 4,500 rupees”. Bebe was staggered and told her son off for extending the visa after paying so much money. It had cost £53.

 

Bebe’s new life had started. She found the first few weeks very exciting and was it not such good fun that she could be with her two grandchildren for another six months? A further few weeks later, Bebe realised that she was tired and constantly catching colds. “It’s the weather, mama; the English cold season is so terrible”. She could offer Cod Liver Oil to her mother-in-law but just the smell of fish would kill her, she thought with a subdued smile. But she would not address her mother-in-law as Bebe, since the old cow had taken away so much peace and quiet ever she had arrived.  Besides, it was so expensive to take the children to McDona, just because the Bebe would not allow them to eat burgers in the house! How dare she interfere with the children’s lives?  She knew that her husband was having a great time at work. He was having his meat and fish regularly but what about her, she thought resentfully. But there were benefits as well. Ever since Bebe had agreed to stay behind, she had saved £2656.43! That would have never happened before. There is no gain without pain, she concluded.

 

Just as the expiry date of the visa was approaching, Bebe also decided that she had had enough of the UK. ‘They can have their Vilayat to themselves, I am going”, she thought. It was essential that she went back to her village and started to eat good, fresh saag and vegetables. These English vegetables were tasteless with too much water. But the daughter-in-law had other plans. Bebe could make out a case that her relations with her son and his wife had broken down. In fact they had abandoned her and it was only then that Bebe could easily get a council house, well even a flat would do.  She soon realised that she was daydreaming. As Bebe would grow older, she would get ‘more and more ill’ and it was her who would have to take time off to look after his mother. No! That option could only work if Bebe stayed in her own council flat and received care from the nurses.

 

Bebe was desperate to go back- she had been in the UK for 12 months. It was also becoming clear to all of them that immigration office would not extend her visa for another six months. Bebe was exhausted by childcare, ashamed of her daughter-in-law’s bad language and the sheer lack of respect. Just look at the tight trousers that she wore. If her husband had been alive, he would have sent her a ticket within ten days and she could leave the country on her own. She had been allowed to keep her passport but not the air ticket. If Bebe was to lose her Indian passport, life would not be too bad. Bebe’s son finalised the return to India and proceeded to buy shirts and sweaters for his cousins, only to be stopped in no uncertain terms by his wife. “I have cousins as well, you know?”

 

Bebe flew back to India within a few says after the shopping for gifts had been stopped. Her son also thought that the year had been very stressful and it was a good time for Bebe to go back. His wife was delighted with her a nice new kitchen with a dishwasher and the ‘laundry machine’.  What more did a woman want? Never mind about the ‘double storey’ oven. Bebe had helped them to save for a trip to Florida as well. Bebe was not that bad actually.. it was just her habits.